Details
I’ve gotten used to training lovers. This isn’t a bad thing, necessarily: it takes time to get to know someone’s body and preferences and I’m willing to put in the work if it will result in great sex.
But every once in awhile you meet someone you just click with. They throw you around with the perfect balance of confidence and care, their hand finds your throat and knows just the right amount of pressure to apply so you feel controlled without panicking, and they know how to do all of those magical things with their tongue that you love but can’t teach.
It ends up being the kind of sex that leaves you dizzy and slightly bruised, mind completely empty of any thoughts because you’re so overwhelmed by the fact that every nerve in your body is electrified. You feel completely satiated until you’re halfway through your bike ride home and realize you’re already hungry again and all you can think is “Oh shit, now the floodgates have opened.” And at work your mind can’t help but wander to thoughts of what they feel like and what they make you feel, that black hole of pleasure they awaken in you that seems infinite and uncontrollable and wild and wholly out of your hands.
But it sort of gives you hope too, a reminder that you’re not broken and that maybe parts of you that you feared had been lost were actually just in hiding until it felt safe to come out again.
